Friday, May 6, 2011

I love and hate Mother's Day

Mother's Day evokes two very different emotions with me.  On one hand, I love Mother's day because it celebrates me being a mommy.  I get the greatest joy of my life out of being a wonderful mommy to my little girl.  When she says, "Aah yuuo" to me I know that she means "I love you" and my heart just melts.  I never thought that I would love being a mom until a few years ago when Y and I decided that it was the right time for us to start trying to have a baby.  I was still a little apprehensive when I was pregnant.  When I saw my little girl for the first time, I felt all the love in the world for her.  She was so little (not really, 9 pounds 1 ounce) and depended completely on me.  In the almost two years since her birth, I feel that being a mommy to her has been my calling all along.  It feels like I was born to do it.

On the other hand, I don't talk to my own mother anymore.  I had a tumultuous childhood but still alright.  It had been a long time coming that I decided to sever the ties completely with my parents. My parents have my younger brother live with them and he is a sex offender. I still had a relationship with them even though I had no contact with him.  Before my daughter was born, I would go back there and just make sure that I didn't see my [biological] brother.  After she was born, I refused to go back there but if they wanted to see her, they were welcome to come to my house or meet me in my town or even meet me anywhere but their house.  Last fall, my mom blew up at me and told me that I was selfish and I should just get over it and bring my daughter to their house and be a big happy family.  Um, seriously, lady?  She said terrible things to me that day and the bottom line is that I refuse to have my daughter anywhere around their son.  He is a sex offender for God's sake.  I absolutely stand my ground on this.  We have not spoken since last fall and I don't intend to have any contact with her this Mother's day.  That's the part that I hate about Mother's Day.  Even though its not my fault (well, I could technically talk to her but I won't), it is still a little bitter around holidays like this Sunday. 

Does anybody else have mixed emotions about Mother's Day?  

10 comments:

  1. No mix emotions but what I can tell you is just focus on your daughter, you and your husband. Everything you need is there. Absolutely nothing is wrong with your decision. Sorry you have to carry that burden

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  2. You are right to protect your daughter. I agree wholeheartedly. Your situation is difficult, but you have to do what is right for you and your family. Perfect families are only on TV (Father Knows Best, Leave it To Beaver, etc)

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  3. You are absolutely correct. It is a hard position to be in, but you made the right choice for you and your family.

    I didn't grow up with my mother. I lived with my father, she's an alcoholic and she basically abandoned us. We talk now, but not much and we aren't very close.

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  4. I'm soo sorry for everything that is going on with you & your family if I were in your shoes I would have done the same thing, family or not having my child around a sex offender is never ok with me and for your parents to think nothing of it would bother me.

    On the bright side you have a beautiful daughter and she is now YOUR family. She is lucky to have such a wonderful Mommy. Being a mommy has been the best thing in the world for me I can't imagine otherwise. I wish you a wonderful Mother's day :)

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  5. I hear you... and I heart you for protecting your daughter.

    My family is always trying to get me to compromise on things that I shouldn't... stand up for your daughter. She deserves it.

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  6. Yes, I also have mixed emotions. For me, it's the opposite. My mom is wonderful - not perfect, by any means, but a good mom. On the other hand, I have always loved children and wanted to have my own. I haven't yet, though, and the older I get, the more I'm afraid it won't happen. So Mother's Day feels like the world mocking me, "you're not a mother, everyone's a mother except you..." Guess it's always something...

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  7. Stand your ground! As a parent you would be looked down on if you didn't!

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  8. I'm sorry that you have been so hurt by the ones that are supposed to love you most.

    But having said that you still have the ones that love you most in your life now and your little one depends on you. I hope you had fabulous day and got to enjoy some cuddles and sloppy kisses from your precious little girl.

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  9. It is a hard decision but I think you absolutely made the right decision. I would focus the whole day on your wonderful blessing and know in your own heart you are being a great mom by protecting your little girl.

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  10. Thank you so much for all of your comments. I had a very nice Mother's Day and I hope that you all did, too!

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