Mother's Day evokes two very different emotions with me. On one hand, I love Mother's day because it celebrates me being a mommy. I get the greatest joy of my life out of being a wonderful mommy to my little girl. When she says, "Aah yuuo" to me I know that she means "I love you" and my heart just melts. I never thought that I would love being a mom until a few years ago when Y and I decided that it was the right time for us to start trying to have a baby. I was still a little apprehensive when I was pregnant. When I saw my little girl for the first time, I felt all the love in the world for her. She was so little (not really, 9 pounds 1 ounce) and depended completely on me. In the almost two years since her birth, I feel that being a mommy to her has been my calling all along. It feels like I was born to do it.
On the other hand, I don't talk to my own mother anymore. I had a tumultuous childhood but still alright. It had been a long time coming that I decided to sever the ties completely with my parents. My parents have my younger brother live with them and he is a sex offender. I still had a relationship with them even though I had no contact with him. Before my daughter was born, I would go back there and just make sure that I didn't see my [biological] brother. After she was born, I refused to go back there but if they wanted to see her, they were welcome to come to my house or meet me in my town or even meet me anywhere but their house. Last fall, my mom blew up at me and told me that I was selfish and I should just get over it and bring my daughter to their house and be a big happy family. Um, seriously, lady? She said terrible things to me that day and the bottom line is that I refuse to have my daughter anywhere around their son. He is a sex offender for God's sake. I absolutely stand my ground on this. We have not spoken since last fall and I don't intend to have any contact with her this Mother's day. That's the part that I hate about Mother's Day. Even though its not my fault (well, I could technically talk to her but I won't), it is still a little bitter around holidays like this Sunday.
Does anybody else have mixed emotions about Mother's Day?