Saturday, December 17, 2011

Did I Go Too Far??

I commented on a blogpost yesterday that was about weekly spending.  I don't want to go into what I wrote because the blogger chose not to post it and instead took down the entire blogpost.

I was trying to be honest about what I thought.  What I said wasn't kind but I meant it to be helpful.  Obviously, I and other commenters hurt this blogger's feelings. 

What is proper etiquette for commenting on PF blogs?  Should you always be very nice if you have concerns?  Or should you try to speak up and voice your concerns? 

9 comments:

  1. In my opinion it depends on what the post is about & the situation behind it... Boatloads of debt? Behind on the bills? Not feeding/clothing the kids? Etc... then I think the concern is valid.

    There's a blog I avoid because they say they're "trying SO HARD" to get out of debt but the numbers are going the wrong way, and money is still spent carelessly. I think if you're going to talk the talk, you should walk the talk.

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  2. It's tough because we are dealing with real people on the other side of the screen. If the person is genuine about trying to sort out finances then they probably wouldn't take it in a hurtful way but helpful. However finances are just a sensitive, personal issue (for many) and sometimes even though people post about things they just want the sugar coated comments. I might read the blog but tend not to comment when people appear to be doing not so smart stuff (on purpose). I think some bloggers can handle the truth and really want it and others not so much.

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  3. Sometimes I prefer to read and not comment. As others have said, finances are indeed a touchy topic, even if it is broadcasted to the internet through a blog. Sometimes I just wish them good luck, but if I really feel like I have to voice an opposite opinion, then I have email them instead of leaving a reply. I mean, we're all in this together, no? If they take it the wrong way, well, so be it.

    That reminds me of Carla's post a while ago about us not being able to please everyone (it was in terms of religion, her post), and it is true. I think that as long as we're fair and not judgmental, we should be ok when talking/commenting to each other.

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  4. I guess it depends on what you mean by "not kind." Did you disagree or offer a different opinion/suggestion? That's fine. But I think sometimes people get into name calling or making statements that completely condemn someone else's choices as irresponsible and that crosses the line. I guess think about if someone said the same things to you...would it bother you?

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  5. Well I only delete a comment if it is vulgar or abusive, I know that people are not always going to agree with me and I am ok with that. I wasnt always buy I am now.

    I think most of us have reached a level of comfort with each other that we can make different comments. But not all bloggers are comfortable with opinions that differ from theres.

    I guess I didnt really answer the question huh

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  6. Thank you all so much for your comments. I really do need to be nicer. I can make excuses all day but the bottom line is that I hurt another blogger's feelings.

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  7. We can't change who we are or how we react to a post. It would be sooooo boring if we were not ourselves. I have had my feeling hurt when I opened up about my oldest son and his issues... The strong comments did give me a different perspective of the whole thing. Anyway... if you did in fact hurt someone's feelings, this post shows that you were not intentional in doing so.

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  8. You probably didn't. Lately, I've been getting some comments from a couple of people I didn't much appreciate it, but personal finance is not always rainbows and butterflies. I agree with Carla. I'm not saying you need to live off Ramen, but what do you think you're doing telling me how hard your trying yet your spending ends up being out of control when it probably doesn't need to be. It's hard and it's a fine line.

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  9. Everyone is different and clashes happen because of that. We all have different opinions but I've gotten to know you as a blogger and I honestly believe that whatever you said was meant to be helpful even if you were harsh.

    I personally welcome comments that disagree with me but everyone might not be able too. If you cross a line with a blogger you should apologize. Everything can't always be sugar coated or learning would be difficult. I guess you should leave the harsher tones for the bloggers you know more in depth.

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