Thursday, July 25, 2013

Unfrugal Friends

Do you ever just kind of expect that your friends should invite you over instead of going out when you are in their neighborhood?

I love hosting people at my house. I'm pretty creative with cooking a good meal, usually using stuff I have on hand. If somebody is coming over, I feed them. I don't ask them to bring anything and I would not suggest going out if we're at my house. I plan ahead if I know we are having guests but I can also plan an entire meal on the fly.

Lil Punk and I are hanging out with my friend and ger kid after work. We are going to their house and going to play on the park. She suggests picking something up. Its just an added cost that I wasn't entirely expecting because I would do it differently. Yes, I was expecting her to cook or grill. Maybe a bit presumptuous...

Do you ever find it hard sometimes because people just have different expectations than you?


  1. Yes. Sadly, my sibs, most of hubs' co-workers, and some of our friends. We're either termed 'cheap', "bad" money handlers (oh, the irony) where we're offered 'help' if we want to know how to budget... We live in a major city. Life is expensive here. Hiking. Might as well be inviting them to Mars. Dinner "in" ours or another's home (as you've stated). With "oh, I don't wanna cook! Let's go out!!". To "are you guys in a lot of debt?" The ignorance is so widespread here it is mindnumbing.

  2. I would have suggested packing a meal and having a picnic at the park. If I don't want to or don't have the money to spend, I'll just suggest something else. Like, "I'm really trying to watch my spending, how about we just pack some sandwiches and snacks for the park."

  3. The people I hang out with most are pretty much on the same wave-length as me, and if they're not, i'll be honest and just say that i'm on a budget or whatever... it does't always work that way, but more often than not anyways! :)

  4. Over the years, I have lost quite a few new friendships because I was not able or willing to go out to eat all the time. When we went to the mall, I never bought anything. They said it made them feel (according to which friend) 1) like a spendthrift, 2) selfish because I could buy nothing, 3) uncomfortable because I was poor, 4) like we had nothing to share, nothing in common. Then, there were those friends who said, 1) I was no fun when we shopped because I never bought, 2) they felt sorry for me because I was poor, 3) it was hard to be friends when I did not buy. It was all very puzzling when I heard their weird statements.

    Thankfully, there were people around who did not feel the same way. Incidentally, some of those spenders lost homes and their lives were in shambles because of their lack of insight into their destructive spending habits. I finally paid off my mortgage. I finished a degree and earned two more. Some of these women are working as cashiers or at low-paying jobs. I cannot say they are unhappy or do not feel fulfilled. But, our lives are different. Of course, those with careers have gone through many hardships due to their spendy ways.

    Later on, I developed friendships with professors and other professional women who shared my interests and spending habits.

    Keep resisting.

  5. I think some people are not as comfy hosting. I'm like you-I'm happy to have people over. I think the people who don't like hosting, assume others don't too, and don't want to impose. There's a friend of my husband's we don't see often. He and his wife wanted to get together. I offered to cook at home instead of going out with small kids (which I generally hate doing-a lot of money, and I'm too busy keeping my son happy that I don't taste my food) and they insisted on going out. We actually don't tend to see these folks much. We tend to spend more time with others who are happy to eat at home, hang out in the backyard, etc.

  6. My SIL (who never really contacts/visits despite being 20 mins away) calls to invite us to an engagement dinner she is hosting for both families. Now me knowing this chick told my husband to call her back and ask her if she is hosting or we pay for ourselves...not only are we to pay for ourselves, it's at an expensive restaurant where kids really aren't welcomed (so more $ for a sitter if we could even find one on short notice). Anyway told hubby I am not going. Considering she didn't come to our wedding, our my baby showers, I don't fell bad at all.