Wednesday, November 5, 2014

How Much to Give?

How much do you give at funerals?  I give $20 if I don't really know the person, like a coworkers dad that I had never met.  I give $100 if it is somebody that I know fairly well, like a friend or friend's spouse or (cringe) child.  I was talking to some coworkers and they give $10 or $20.  I would only give $20 or $25 for a wedding but way more for a funeral because that's final and not by their choice.  What do you think?

9 comments:

  1. I have no idea - I have never given money at a funeral nor does anyone I know do that. Is that regional thing? What you do here is bring food - LOTS of it. I decided a long time ago to take paper goods - paper plates, toilet paper (a big one), plastic silverware, paper towels, napkins, etc. Every time I have done that, we were pulled aside later and thanked in a very personal way. It is not something the bereaved think about going to get in the middle of everything, yet they usually have to host a great number of people for several days.

    Now, if I were more familiar with it - I think your numbers are good. Though I would give more if a spouse died than I would if a child died. There is more need usually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is so weird that you have never heard of this. I didn't think it was regional...

      Delete
  2. I've never heard of anyone giving money at a funeral. Flowers... Cards... but not money. Weddings tend to be gifts, and since we only attend for family and close friends we give on the order of $100-$200.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be a regional thing. It's given to help with funeral costs, loss of income, travel expenses, etc.

      Delete
  3. I have also never heard of this custom. Sometimes there's an "in lieu of flowers" notice, but it's not standard to give money (to...who, exactly?) at funerals in any state where I've lived.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think you are spot on, when you give freely you receive and it is a kind gesture.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It is a regional thing in the Dakotas you always gave money to the deceased's next of kin to help with expenses. At least we did and still do.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not a Canadian thing either except in the case where the breadwinner has died and has young children (but no life insurance) then a trust fund might be set up and donations accepted for that. Otherwise the usual thing to do here is to give to the Cancer foundation if the person died of cancer etc etc.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've never heard of this either. In Washington you send flowers or donate to a charity. I guess sometimes there are accounts set up at banks to help cover funeral expenses when something sudden and tragic happens, but otherwise not. I usually donate to a charity on behalf of the person. I did send a card with $100 to someone when they miscarried late in the pregnancy. I don't normally feel compelled to do this, but I did in that particular instance. The parents told me the cremation costs were covered by some sort of public fund, but the little urn they purchased for their baby girl happened to cost $100. I was the only person who sent money, so I got the honor of supplying it for them.

    ReplyDelete