Monday, June 8, 2015

Casting Stones

I have a confession to make.  I've never really struggled with my weight.  I currently weigh about 133 and I would like it to be closer to 130 but I can still rock skinny jeans and tight shirts.  I am between sizes 4 and 6.  With the exception of being pregnant and post-partum, I've never been over 140.  I love food but keeping small seems to be in my genes and naturally good eating habits.  So...do I get to cast stones at all y'all bigger people out there?  Do I have that right since I do exercise and am not overweight?

Breastfeeding was the easiest for me.  I never experienced engorgement and both my kids latched perfectly from day 1.  Everyone has seen the studies at this point that breastfeeding is best and I did it for a year with both my kids.  Therefore it should be perfectly acceptable for me to look at other moms with disdain if I see them feeding their kid a bottle.  Their kid probably won't even graduate high school without momma's milk that first year.  I don't care if they can't lactate or their baby can't latch on.

What about debt?  At what point do I get to tell other people what they're doing is wrong and I know better?  When I'm debt free?  When I have 1 million in retirement?  When I make six figures?  Does it count if my spouse makes six figures but not me?  When I  own a house?  Just asking...

The blogosphere seems judgy lately so I just wanted to clarify a couple things here.  At what point am I perfect enough to cast stones?

In my opinion, when you come from as fucked up a world as I have, you not only have the right never to cast stones but only to look for the hand extended giving you a lift rather than a stone in the face.

13 comments:

  1. You are a lucky lady since you never had issues with your weight. I do and that's OK. Everybody is different. I, on the other hand never had financial troubles because I am naturally frugal. My parents used to laugh at me because I had a budget even when I was 10 and had a "fun" category in my budget. I take my budget seriously and I still have a budget with a "fun" category. My situation is unique so, even though I may not agree with other people's financial choices, who am I to judge? I would offer my two cents if asked but that's all. So, I agree with you...

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    1. I am lucky. I do try to eat healthy food because I want my kids to have good eating habits. My idea of watching my weight is not eating McDonald's for a week.

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  2. I think you have it right, never throw the stone, but extend the hand to help. I've struggled with my weight since I was a teenager, ( hello curves, but now I'm on track to being a healthy, strong adult, I'm about the same size I was when I graduated from high school, but I weigh more).

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    1. Good for you! Size is more important than weight because muscle always weighs more.

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  3. I think everyone struggles with something in their life. For some it's money (and/or debt) some it's weight, some it's relationships. Its easy to judge others and say how they should be doing something but until you are in their shoes you just don't know. There are also people in this world who are so miserable they feel the need to treat others badly so they can be just as miserable.

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    1. You are right in that everyone struggles with something. We all have our own demons.

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  4. I was 140 lbs....about 25 years ago! lol

    Thanks. ;)

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  5. I think blogging is personal and people are opening their lives to you about problems they have or don't have. It is just plain mean to attack someone you don't really know. There are several blogs where I think get a life! But that is not my place. Their pain is just like my pain maybe brought on be different causes but pain all the same. I just want people to be nice to each other. I do however love a sluggy smack down once in a while.

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    1. All of us have different sources of pain and it definitely comes out when you've been blogging awhile.

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  6. I know people who have abandoned blogging because of the judgment gene that appears to flare every now and again. Part of it comes from accepting your place at a specific table, whether it's personal finance or lifestlye or mommy or relationships. I hate seeing it too, and I most definitely hate receiving the judgmental comments. However, when you see someone standing on the tracks facing an oncoming train the impulse to yell and scream and do whatever it takes to get their attention and save them from immediate harm should be impossible to resist. However, rarely is anyone blogging about something so dire that such harsh and drastic measures must be implemented. Most people are simply living their lives and discussing their choices, not asking permission or seeking approval from the great, anonymous masses.

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  7. I know I am far from perfect and sometimes I come across as a know it all. It's extremely hard not to say something when you see people making the same mistakes you have made. I truly mean to lend a helping hand and not be judgmental but it seldom comes across that way.

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